Run to the Beat - the anti-runner event

I don't normally win competitions. By normally, I mean never. So when Runners Need we're offering Run to the Beat places I fired and forgot my entry, noting that the date was earlier than previous years & just a week before the Copenhagen half. Nothing to worry about though, I don't win things, I'll just taper normally for CPH. 

To my surprise (or possibly due to being the only entrant) I was a winner, a winner that had an opportunity to compete in London's Dullest Running Event, at least I think that's their tag line. A quick revision of my training plan swapped a 60 minute taper run for my prize of nearly two hours of competition miles. 

Pre RTTB

I arrived in my provided Nike uniform, incorrect date and all (a mere 19,000 shirts were printed by the organiser before they realised the date might be slightly wrong!). A charity shirt might have been an option, but that meant bureaucracy, something that given the post race experience I'm glad I didn't deal with. This meant I missed out on one of my running highlights, having random strangers shout (mostly) encouraging things at you whilst you struggle around the course. Team Nike suggested this wouldn't be an issue as they'd be so much music around the course you'd not hear much else. 

The uphill walk to the race village was a chilling preview of mile 12 pain to come. The race village itself was nice and large, in a credit to the organisers I've only seen more portaloos at the Stockholm Half!

Even wearing a corporate headband

The Run

I made my way to the 1:40-2:00 holding pen ahead of time, like 98% of the runners, warmed up & took in the atmosphere. Nike decided to add some artificial atmosphere by playing music across everyone so that any runners that wanted to talk had no choice but to listen to low grade commercial radio. The start was delayed, hardly a surprise for a major event but six years into running an event you'd think that someone might have invested in a watch. The delay necessitated another nervous wee, a whole night of IBS and stomach cramps following an overload of pasta had left me feeling a bit wretched. 

Once I crossed the line all of the pre race anxieties soon went away and I settled into a nice rhythm. I knew the target pace was 5:27/km & after four miles I was nicely under a 1:55. For the first four miles the course had been wide, both sides of the road. The course then narrowed to a single carriageway, not a huge problem, but the field was yet to spread out. The organisers then played their hand, they don't like runners. As we approached the Royal Artillery Barracks a megaphone wielding man made us aware of a gate we'd have to pass through. At most it was 8 foot wide and with runners coming in and out the entire field ground to a halt. Some opted to go straight on & sacrifice the HM distance instead of rhythm. I waited it out, all for a lap of the parade ground that seemed to be a cynical advertising spot for some over hyped coconut drink. Another walking queue to exit the parade ground & I was free to try and resuscitate my run. I suspect the delays cost me at least 2 minutes, perhaps as many as 5, plus the effort to try and establish my pace once more. 

With the bottleneck out of my way I was ready to take on the rest that south London had to offer. Unfortunately the race director decided to showcase their love for the U turn as shortly after the barracks was the first of 5 included in the route! Five U turns? There is nothing more defeating that running for no reason? The social media from the event said "Run the first two thirds with your body, the last third with your mind" yet their approach seemed to be to crush the runner's mindset with U turns & monotony. 

Despite all of this the run was progressing reasonably well. I wanted to be through 11km / 7 miles in an hour as I know I'm a positive split runner still. 10 miles at 1:30 meant a 1:57 was possible. The obstacles kept mounting up though, chaotic water stations, more U turns and another significant narrowing of the course as we entered Greenwich Park all hit my rhythm.

Spot the bottleneck & U turns!

Soon the Mile 12 marker was in front of me, the hill of doom separating me from the finish. Had a 1:55 been on I think I'd have made it up. Instead, drained more mentally than physically by the brutal nature of the course I started walking. A spectator tried to keep me going but realised after a polite brush off to not bother. I walked, then fast walked up the hill, hoping that my legs could recover for a strong last km. As the crest approached I kicked into running again, but in another act of cruelty the organisers chucked in two more meandering U turns. When you think the U is coming and then turn a corner to see it's another few metres away you wonder what the point is. I was defeated as I took the final corner. Even with the finish line in sight a sprint was hard to muster. Crossing the line in 1:59:53 was a disappointment, I knew I had better pace but was happy to finish.

The cruelty wasn't over, for some reason cable ties were too expensive for the organisers so we had to de-shoe and un-lace to remove the timing chip and then be funnelled through a narrow exit area before we would be released from the ordeal. In an event designed to be anti runner I'm surprised there wasn't someone in the sponsor's gear giving everyone the finger as they finished. We left the village as soon as my legs could muster it, didn't want to suffer some shitty pop music to complete the pain.

Knackered, just needed to lie down post race

The Eat

I feel no shame in gorging on KFC post race. It, like the race has no discernible qualities! We did follow it with some amazing fish at a family meal for my father in law's 60th in the evening, so it wasn't all bad.

The Colonel ordered me to eat more fried chicken

The Conclusion

Two days on I can reflect on the positives I can take from the race:

Competitive Miles - Nothing can create a race atmosphere, even if the event was lacking, there are always other runners. 

Pace - My early pace and latter half prove I can muster a 1:55 time. It might not have been a PB but so what? If I can run a 1:59 and it be a disaster then I'm in a good place. Had I been faced with the same circumstances earlier this year I'd have been returning a 2:10 and be questioning the point of it all. 

Miles - The longest run I've had since MK Half in March. That's partly due to missing training runs, something to work on for next time. 

Injury free - Save for a delightful blister and some muscle ache, everything seems to be ok. I'm never going to be 100% and the turn around for CPH is short, but I'm happy. 

Nice cherry on the side of my foot

UPDATE:
The organisers have been in touch with everyone that emailed thoughts & seem to have sent a generic response & a promise to refund all runners £10. Even their apology needs more work!