Change is painful

Another week passed on the road to Berlin. There is no real narrative to the past week, let's run straight into the ramblings.

Time to reflect

After the highs of the bank holiday weekend (now known only as triple bling weekend) there was bound to be a bit of a low, or at least a brief malaise. On Tuesday I found myself working from home & following the buzz of the previous days work up feeling like there was a bit of a vacuum, a bit melancholic. At some point over the course of the morning I picked up the latest copy of Run Like The Wind & thumbed a few articles. One stood out to me. Kevin Betts (@52marathonman) had written about why he runs. Without spoiling the article the reasons were very similar to one of my reasons.
The article consumed me & by the end of it I was tearing up, part in awe of it's simple but effective message & part in an act of remembrance, the day before would have been Dad's birthday. And so began a weird morning & one that truth be told I was glad to be at home for. The tears weren't that of sorrow, I didn't feel remotely depressed, just reflective. It was nice to remember, have a quite moment. Sometimes life runs at such a speed that you forget, lose track of all manner of things. To have the opportunity for some reflection, even if it was randomly interrupted by Roo or Topper wanting to assist me as I walked. The sight of Topper struggling around with his almighty gut has an element of dark humour about it. Quite what benefit the drugs are having isn't obvious, but when he forces open a door with his gargantuan arse you can't help but smile. Personality wise he's chirpier than ever, he's just very physically limited.
Another interruption I had on the day was mid afternoon when a courier arrived to drop off my order from Nakd. My previous post had mentioned various changes I wanted to make, this was the next step, arm myself with the ability to fend off the temptation for a mid afternoon sugar rush. Emily had referred me & also told me that the cola raisins were really rather special. Fifty pounds later & I appear to have a three month supply of various things. Given my experiments with Haribo on longer runs, the raisins are a definite option, I can't get by a marathon solely on gels, it would shred my stomach.

Lot's of Nakd goodness

A debut

On Thursday morning I decided it was time for finally use my gym membership card in anger. This meant it was time to set the alarm for half five once more & get out the door at a decent time. As it was my first visit I chose to drive across to Dunmow rather than try the Stansted facility, so was stepping into the gym at around half six.
My hope was that it would be empty, alas no, surprisingly (for me) well attended at this hour! I clambered onto an elliptical trainer, everyone else seemed to be on one so it seemed like a good idea. Thankfully the other users were in their own bubbles or too polite to laugh as my first couple of minutes resembled bambi using one! I just couldn't figure out how it worked. I could see from others what I should be doing, but couldn't get my body's action to replicate. After a couple of minutes of fumbling around I realised that it took a cycling style motion rather than stepping & I was on my way.
10 minutes on the elliptical then it was onto some of the weight machines for some resistance training. The whole point of the gym work was to get some alternative cross training in & build up the rest of my legs to take the pressure off of my calves, keep that in mind for later. I did various leg lifts & then returned to cardio with 10 on the sit down bike, finishing off the session with some pull downs.
On the whole I was pretty pleased with the session. Sure I looked like a complete newbie by checking out the instructions on various machines, forgot a towel etc, but it wasn't as mind numbingly boring as it could have been. I got back home & straight onto the foam roller. I rewarded myself with some scrambled eggs on brioche toast (had lots left over from the BBQ).

Coach Topper taking me through post gym rolling

Chaperone Duties

On Thursday evening I found myself in Shoreditch with my brother & cousin. At my Grandma's 100th a few weeks previously we'd discussed meeting up for an evening. Quite how we settled on London's hipster district I'm not sure but the guys did well to accommodate an old man for the evening. It was good fun to catch up with them, they'd wanted to get me out in order to be my wingmen, although I was more concerned with enjoying a beer & grabbing some decent food!

Hipster petrol station pop up, complete with hipster beer

It was an evening to be thankful & appreciating the support of family & friends in trying to rebuild my life. It's crazy that we don't spend more time together & we shared plenty of stories. We found out that John had an interesting take on family history in his youth & I was happy to tell them more about our Grandpa who they were too young to know. When you're little brother wants to impart dating tips to you, you suddenly realise that, A - he's not the kid you used to take along to the cricket any more & B - he's definitely not the kid you used to take along to the cricket any more! We finished the evening in Patty & Bun, devouring some burgers & the rather awesome chicken fries before going our separate ways at Liverpool St.

Ouch

Friday morning was painful. Both calves felt like they'd been mangled. They felt horrendous, walking was an issue to begin with. I needed recovery time and that is precisely what I didn't have. I was working twice over the course of Friday & had all of my running gear packed as I'd be heading straight out of London on Saturday morning to make it back to Hatfield Forest for Sam's parkrun Run Director debut.
Throughout the day I kept disappearing into stairwells to stretch out my calves, taking every opportunity to get some life back into them. Thankfully no one ever interrupted me mid heel lift! I checked out of the first working day & into a hotel, straight into a bath, another tactic to try & ease the legs. Some Nick Helm on iPlayer raised the spirits, even if laughter didn't appear to have any painkilling properties.
I applied a liberal amount of Natural Hero rub to both calves (a good addition to my work wash bag) & tried to convince myself that half five in the afternoon was a normal time to attempt to sleep. Alas I'm out of practice at these overnighters at the moment & I managed all of 90 minutes, followed by another 45 of trying to get back to sleep. There was nothing for it, I got up, snacked on hotel biscuits & watched the cricket highlights instead.
Working day number two went reassuringly well. I'd set myself a target of finishing before 4am in order to make getting to Hatfield Forest in time for parkrun. I was only assisting in an insurance policy fashion, on hand to assist should my colleagues run into any issues. In the end I was out by 2 & setting the alarm a bit earlier than planned.

parkrunday

My wakeup preceded the 0605 alarm & I was surprisingly with it. I jumped out of bed, noticed the calves still weren't perfect & got myself showered, no one needs the scent of an IT person or my massive bed hair at a parkrun! I checked out & walked into glorious sunshine alongside the Thames. I was on my way, which was giving me an earworm from Scotland's finest twin duo. A quick Spotify search & The Proclaimers were accompanying me to the tube. I had a mere tube, train & taxi trifecta to overcome in order to get to parkrun. The first ran smoothly, the second was bang on time & a taxi was easily negotiated from Stansted Airport & the driver even offered to drive me into the estate, though the walk was perfectly fine with me in the warm sunshine.

Phase 3 of the journey begins!

I'd made it with plenty of time to spare & was in an awesome mood, enjoying the finer parts of the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack as the best view in parkrun, our winter finish alongside the lake came into view.
Sam appeared to be enjoying himself in his first go at Run Directing, readying himself for the technical volunteers as Paul walked our marshals through their roles. Our goal this week was to keep lost marshal numbers to zero! Although unbeknown to me there was a bit of a pre run panic & one of our volunteer co-ordinators ran out to a marshal point to ensure we had the cover required, sacrificing a run as a result. I was on megaphone holding duty as Sam briefed the masses, remembering that I should really get my Garmin ready & then realising he'd be saying 3, 2 & 1 quite quickly so skirted round the side of the start so that I didn't find myself at the back of the field.
I had no plan of note for the run. I had two conflicting factors to accommodate, a combined 4.5 hours of sleep & a buoyant performance at the HBO 10k the week previously that suggested my pace was returning. I decided that I'd try & hold a pace for as long as possible, expecting that the wheels would come off from 3km, leading to a painful & slow final kilometre or two. I fully expected this to be a crash & burn parkrun, despite this I had chosen to embrace it, going out at a moderate pace would teach me nothing.
Having snuck round to establish a decent starting position I found myself getting into a decent rhythm straight away, thanking one of our many awesome & smiling marshals as I headed off of the estate road. The track is deceiving, it feels solid, but has so much loose stone on top that it can be quite unpleasant to run on. I found myself trying to get onto the grass instead in order for a more comfortable run. Much like my first run of the winter route, this was a bizarre experience, I'm used to completing the route along a couple of other people, not hundreds.
We were soon into the first ride & through 1km in 5:05. It was around this time that one of our regulars, Bekah from Stortford Running sneezed herself into view. We shared HBO stories & seemed to hit a natural pace between us. She was also expecting to crash & burn a bit so having someone to run alongside with similar intentions made for an easier run. I got told off for adding my own ED adaptations to the route, adding distance as I varied my route through the ride.
Just before 2km my suspicions were confirmed as all of our runners cut a nice corner, more cricket flags needed there to emphasise the true course! I clocked a 5:03 for the second kilometre & noted that this pace was suicide pace, at least when I hit the wall at 3km it would be spectacular. After crossing a bridge I appeared to try my hardest to twist an ankle in our ever increasingly deep ditch & then negotiated our rabbit hole assault course before turning into Half Way Ride.
This is the toughest point of the run. Constant drainage ditches to cross & very lush underfoot conditions mean this is a calf killer. Thankfully the benefit of being the ED is that I know the course pretty well. As soon as the ditches approached I decided I would be better off for rhythm if I took the non ditch route to the right hand side of the ride. Even though this wound around trees I didn't feel I lost anything & after my attempt to mess with my own ankle earlier in the runner this certainly felt like a better option.

Thumbs up, haven't worked out why yet

Once the cattle gate had been negotiated it was time to enjoy over a kilometre of downhill or flat running. I don't know if by this stage I was talking to anyone but myself, telling myself to enjoy the downhill & cash in. That difficult third kilometre had cost me 5:18 & I still didn't feel like I was toast so it was time to carry on. The return to more even footing allowed me to get the pace back down & by this stage I felt it must have been a matter of time before the sleep deprivation kicked in. As we crossed Elgin's I was struggling to spot the 4km marker, it appears that despite setting the course up explicitly some of our participants had parked across the course! This was something I can address with good comms in coming weeks & throwing an extra volunteer onto parking, I'm soon realising that the only way to be properly off duty is to be at another event!
I crossed the estate road & started climbing up hill. It's not really a massive hill, but in the context of our flat course, it certainly bites a bit. I was cursing whoever added the uphill to the course! In reality you're climbing gently for all of 200 metres, it is just the placement, as you clock 4.5km that annoys.
Onto the flat & with the finish coming into view I still had Bekah alongside me. We were both expecting the wheels to have come off by now, instead it was time to go through the gears. I asked her how many ahead she felt we could overtake, my own guess was 5. Bekah didn't want to name a number & given my history of managing a groin strain I really should have just coasted in. Instead I carried on pushing, I felt good enough & with all of 200m remaining I could collapse on the grass if required!
I crossed the line with 24:58 & I think my prediction of overtaking 5 within the closing stages might have even been correct! I exchanged a high five with Bekah & thanked her for the pacing & within seconds found myself back in ED mode & it appeared our scanners were having issues. At first we moved them back as I thought it was a queuing issue. Then realising that the queue was due to the sunshine I urged the scanners to move into the shade, red lasers & direct sunlight are not a good combination. It didn't take long for the queues to subside & with another lesson learnt it was time to relax a bit & chat to fellow runners.
After close down & an awesome NT sausage roll we walked the proposed special event route that is due on the 6th. The course really is rather nice & there is a danger that it could prove to be very popular. For now though it was a one time only option & after making notes of the various sign locations & risks it was off to the pub for results processing.

It's hard not to find an appealing route around the forest

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The rest of Saturday I tried to avoid falling asleep. I didn't feel a nap would benefit me, hoping to drag things out for an early night instead. I opted for two barrels of sugar to keep me awake, orange Lucozade straight after parkrun & a can of Mountain Dew that had been an option on the overnighter.
It was tempting to have a very lazy day in front of the test match on the TV, but remembered that my hair was starting to resemble Kim Jong Un on the sides & it was time to get it tamed. I'd gone into work the previous evening with a bed hair mohawk after all! After the excellent work done last time I headed into Stortford & let Chloe at CB's sort it all out.

Massive bed hair! I also appear to have one gargantuan sized hand.....

Once the hair issue was resolved the evening took care of itself & I got to sleep very early, no bad thing with my longest run to date planned for the morning.

Plan B

Sunday had plans a plenty. We'd offered the chance to run our special route to our regulars as an open event so I had to be at the forest for 0900. My intention was to then run home, clocking 16 miles in total. Once showered I'd be out to the cricket at Chelmsford.
Of course the first draft of a plan never makes it into reality & with no one else within our core team available, I drove to the forest, already formulating my new long run plan. I could just carry on running various different parkrun routes around the forest (G, summer, winter, summer reverse, winter reverse), that would meet my mileage requirements & present a nice challenge.
I was joined at the Forest by Chris, Jason & Mark, we set off in some rather grim drizzle. The feedback for the course was predictably positive, it is going to have to hurl down a monsoon or something for this route to not be popular with our runners! After a lap of Route G I ditched my jacket as the drizzle was stopping & the humidity was taking over. Mark joined me for my second lap, Route A (summer). We were also joined by an ever increasing amount of rain. As we started to close the course it was clear that the weather had set in.
I'm comfortable enough with my training plan & smart enough to know that there are going to be days like this. There was little to achieve in continuing to run further laps in increasingly crap conditions. With another 90 minutes of running still due all I was guaranteeing myself was a cold, soggy feet, nasty nipples from the rain, general grumpiness. I didn't see nay benefit so as we finished the second lap I decided to call it a day. 10km in trail conditions banked & I can find another long run on another day. One concern was that my socks appears to be soaked through, suggesting the seal skinz had failed me.

The rainfall was doing nothing for the mega quiff

My decision was immediately vindicated when the rain hammered it down the moment I started driving home. The abysmal weather was also snubbing out the idea of going to watch the cricket. Even if the rainfall were to lift, the viewing experience would be a cold & grim experience.
I found myself in a grumpy mood for the rest of the day. No long run, no day at the cricket. A replacement of the test match on TV, a pile of ironing & some xbox didn't really have the same appeal. Despite my rain affected deposition I at least didn't resort to snacking, instead occupying myself with ironing just about every shirt in the pile! In fact it was nearly 9pm by the time I realised that cooking a proper meal might be a good idea, rustling up a steak to at least end the day on a high.

Steaky steak time!

The Conclusion

A hit & miss week. I hadn't achieved the long run I wanted, but had managed to defy current form & lack of sleep to return my fastest parkrun since September. In truth I have no idea where my best pace is at the moment. I'm acutely aware that I shouldn't do too much speed work as my body doesn't react well to it. When I do there is a need to stretch out the groin, calves & achilles as they feel the load more than anything else.
I'd have liked to get the long run in, but there is one more weekend before Endure 24 & I should be able to get the miles clocked. I adapted a 22 week plan over 26 weeks so there is plenty of slack in there & with the past weekend being the last in May I know that there is nearly four months until Berlin.
I was also pleased to finally make it to the gym, even if I now have mangled calves as a result. I can't get through this marathon on running alone (well I could, but my chances of success would be reduced) & embracing some cross training feels like the right call. I'm almost looking forward to having a Monday evening free so that I can subject myself to a spinning class having been warned that it may well rob me of whatever dignity I have left.
I feel like I'm in a good place mentally at the moment. This update started on a bit of a down, this was merely due to be listing things in their natural chronological order. I was touched by the friends old & new that reached out to me to check in & make sure I was ok, almost to a point of being embarrassed by highlighting my melancholy in the first place. Not only was it a time to reflect on the past, but also on the present & the awesome people in my life. Taking stock occasionally is no bad thing.